ALL YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT BRITNEY -- SPEARS, THAT IS. THE WORLD'S FAVOURITE PIECE OF PIE, THE AMERICAN TRAILER TRASH CHICKIE WHOSE NAME MAKES MEN DROOL LIKE PUPPIES --- WHOSE ANTICS HAVE LANDED HER NAME IN THE PAPER LIKE THE DAILY WEATHER! WE'VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR A BRITNEY FIX -- THAT SEXY PIECE OF AMERICAN GIRL NEXT DOOR (YOU WISH) WHO DOESN'T CARE WHAT THE TABLOIDS SAY...SHE DOES WHATEVER SHE WANTS, FROM SEX? TO SINGING? TO DROPPING HER BABY ON HIS HEAD. IS IT TRUE? IS THERE A BREAKUP IMINENT IN HER NEAR FUTURE? IS THE BLOWJOB VIDEO REAL OR FAKE? A LITTLE HANKY PANKY SEX MADE PUBLIC ON TAPE? WE WILL NEVER BE OUT DONE WHEN IT COMES TO LITTLE BRITNEY SPEARS.....WE'VE GOT THE DIRT AND NOW YOU DO!

This is a STAR who has taken over the tabloids on a daily basis; and, you know, we've gathered every piece, every snippet, every rumour, and all the facts. With a 45 minute, commercial-free documentary at your fingertips, keep your tissues around and one hand free....for Britney was worked her magic on every living, breathing male. The romantic pairing of certified Idols Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake was a media dream made flesh, so to speak. How sweet, how fitting that these magnetic fresh faces on the cusp of adulthood would cling to one another for shelter and understanding against the gale force winds of celebrity, pop royalty sharing the fairytale magic of Love's First Kiss (or something, um, similar). Only the dwarfs were missing. Was the relationship real? We care not, as long as it plays well on video and tabloid, which, by the way, we've got, just for you. Britney and Justin originally met in the early- '90s, starting out as those adorable little mice with ears, you know who we mean. Didn't every star at one time, pay their dues as a Mouseketeer? There was no happily ever after: they broke up after four years in the spring of 2002, fleeing the dream castle on separate but parallel paths. Justin and Britney — their first names are usually enough — are no longer together but they aren't far apart either: they still share the Jive record label, a similar urban-pop musical style, many of the same rabid fans, and neither is getting any uglier. Both are also seemingly all over the place, leapfrogging each other in the media spotlight. And, now they share a steamy documentary, nothing barred, nothing left out.

Britney is not one who allows moss to grow under HER feet. No. She's been movin'on and movin' up the star chain. Watch the 45 minute documentary, 'It's Good to Be Britney'-- you know we have it and now you can, along with all the dirt! Find out which high-end boutiques she raids, how much she spends--from $20,000 dresses and $5,000 watches to the nights on the town that cost just as much. Hear about her personal bodyguard, Rob, and how he helps keep her safe, sane and...shopping! But, that's not all. You'll get a tour of her homes around the country. You'll hear about how much she tips (generously, of course), see her favorite pig-out food (southern fried delights -- why ARE we not surprised!) and learn how this small-town girl from Louisiana spends it all in the big time. From this to huge icon, Britney's path shows that global pop stars simply don't live like the rest of us and we wouldn't have it any other way.

No stranger to the chapel, Britney is fast becoming a serial bride....first marrying high-school sweetheart, Jason Alexander in Las Vegas, an ill-fated attempt at marital bliss....well, she's done it again, as everyone knows. This was a wedding splashed on every headline, the 'I DO' heard 'round the globe. No one in their right mind thinks Kevin Federline is good enough or bad enough really, for our Britney; but, she married him anyway. We don't even know if Britney is good enough or bad enough; but, you get the picture. She's a favourite bad girl, who says one thing, but does what she pleases, which, in turn, will please you. You know we've got that all on tape for you to peruse -- from the buck's night footage to the hen's night footage, the ceremony itself, and the ensuing reception, all in DVD crystal clear quality, so you don't miss a trick.

The former Virgin of recording stars, Britney has gone from abstinence to 'can't have enough of it'. Her image has changed from little girl to pornified star, working with the likes of Gregory Dark and we know all about that dark, twisted genius and what HE produces. A few years ago, Britney stopped working with the imaginative filmmakers of the LA porn industry, citing moral reasons. BUT -- pop princess Britney Spears loves watching lesbian pornographic videos and is a good friend of one of the stars, say friends. She has befriended Jenna Jameson, a sultry porn actress who "swings both ways" on screen.

AS IF she has a moral stance, unless one wants to count the newly erected, erection giving statue dedicated to her motherhood. The fine folks in New York have completely lost their minds and given Britney Spears her own Pro-Life monument at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district. The life-sized statue celebrates the recent birth of Spears' baby boy, Sean, and applauds her decision of placing family before career. Gallery co-director Lincoln Capla says, "A superstar at Britney's young age having a child is rare in today's celebrity culture. This dedication honors Britney for the rarity of her choice and bravery of her decision." The official name of the monument is "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston," and I'm pretty sure the unofficial name is "The sex doll I was making but somebody caught me so now I'm pretending it's a Britney Spears monument." Besides, I don't think getting accidentally knocked up counts as a brave decision to put family before career. It's more like a brave decision to not use protection. Which actually isn't very brave at all, but that's what I tell the ladies because it makes them feel like sexy outlaws. 'Course, that hasn't stopped our Britney from showing all mothers how to handle babies. She dropped poor Sean on his little head and then endured endless visits with Social Services and other protective agencies. Britney as a mother might just leave much to be desired. Perhaps, she should stick to singing, such as it is, and porn tapes, and the ever growing rumours that she and ole boy, Kevin, are about to go their separate ways. While she and Kevin have been cleared of any mis-doings or accountability in Sean's skull fracture, Kevin's been heard, rather loudly, criticising his wife's mothering. Actually, he's been pretty vocal about Britney and all of her faults, in public, for you to read about and see. Will they break up? You know we'll be the first to get the news to you. It's not as if Britney has any privacy and we don't believe, for a second, that she wants any. She does appear to live for the news and notoriety that follows her that she seeks out.

We have ALL the famous Britney pics, nude, fake, real, whatever...the infamous doctored hardcore videos AND the real footage of Britney's nip slips, boob adjustments and the best bend-over shots ever! If you're a Britney fan and we know you are, you're going to want to see the complete 'In the Zone' Video in FULL DVD format, which, of course, we have just for you. Mountains and peaks of peeks into the real time, infamous tongue kiss with Madonna from the MTV Video Music Awards. What did our Britney do with the very hot Beyonce Knowles AFTER the 'almost too much to bare' Pepsi commercial? You simply cannot pass by the tons of videos and literally hundreds of images for you to download and keep forever. There's more Britney than you can shake your dick at! A news source reports that a Britney Spears and Kevin Federline sex tape might be surfacing. A member of Britney's entourage allegedly copied one of her personal home videos and is threatening to release it. A source says, "He has threatened to release raunchy footage of the two taken before Spears looked pregnant.” For some reason we picture Britney Spear's sex tape to be of her and Kevin Federline rolling around in some mud, occasionally smoking a cigarette and throwing back a bottle of Whiskey. And we're pretty sure there might even be an actual pig involved. We're not saying that Britney and Kevin are into having sex with pigs, but what little we know about white trash is that they love their muddy pig sex. And really, who doesn't?

Speaking of notoriety, every man wants a blow job from Britney. Rumour has it there's a blow job video with Britney at the, ahem, helm, and the lucky recipient (perhaps Kevin?) smiling like a perfectly satisfied laughing loon. Is it real or is it fake? You won't have to search high and low --- you can watch Britney GO low and decide for yourselves because we've got what you need to see. What's next for Britney? Who knows; but, we know you are waiting with bated breath. We know WE are and you can be sure we'll have it for you, whatever the 'it' girl does next!

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